Lincoln

First of all, I want to apologies for being super late with this post. I could give you a few reasons, but Im not going to.

ANYWAYS

Lincoln has alot of things going for it. For starters, it was directed by American treasure Stevie Spielberg. Second of all, the main character is Honest Abe Lincoln, whom many consider to be one of the best three American Presidents (along with FDR and Washington). Third, the main actor is Daniel Day-Lewis, one of the best working actors. And finally, it is about the end of slavery, which most normal people agree was a pretty amazing thing (ending slavery that is, not slavery itself). It was going to be really tough to fuck this movie up, but that does not mean we shouldnt celebrate it for not sucking.

Lincoln tells the story of how President Lincoln gave a bunch of speeches to various people that would eventually pass the 13th Amendment. And one of the great joys of this movie is watching DDL chew scenery. His stories are soo long and common that at one point he jokes that he would write shorter ones, but he is too lazy to stop once he has started. There is also a very funny moment when Lincoln starts to tell a story (a particularly funny one about a well placed portrait of General George Washington), and some Union General who is fed up with Lincoln's stories gets up and leave, muttering under his breath that he doesnt have time to listen to this shit right now. If you do not like watching people in period outfits give long monologues that meander around the point, you will not like this movie. That is the movie. Sometimes its DDL, sometimes its Sally Field (tremendously playing the crazy Mrs. Lincoln), sometimes its Tommy Lee Jones (playing Thaddeus Stevens in a terrible wig). The rest of the movie is connective tissue, most of which is very enjoyable to watch. James Spader, Tim Blake Nelson, and John Hawkes play a good trio of lobbyists working for Sec. of State Seward, who is working for Mr. Lincoln, of course. The three of them do whatever they can, in a great montage of bribery and corruption, to get the necessary votes to pass the amendment before the Civil War ends.

The conflict of the movie is against time. Lincoln correctly understands that once the Union is unified (WORDPLAY), a majority of the people of the country will still hate black people and refuse to support the amendment. Lincoln, playing the role of master politician, puts Southern leaders in Virginia for a stay while waiting for the amendment to pass, in order to be able to say that no Southern leaders are in Washington working out peace terms. The Amendment was ratified (the yeays have it!) and the movie ends. Except it doesnt, which brings me to my first beef.

This is a movie that has an introduction and an epilogue. The introduction is a very nice scene that revolves around that one kid from Chronicle and Lukas Haas reciting the Gettysburg Address to the President. The epilogue is less pointed and most revolves around everyone being super sad that Lincoln is dead. I have no problem giving the movie bookends, because this is only a small part of the larger story that is Lincoln's life. But the pacing of the end, as well as a perfectly shot false ending, makes the 2.5 hour movie feel like it is dragging for the first time. In my humble opinion, after Lincoln verbally abuses Jackie Earle Haley, the movie should cut to the speech that Lincoln delivers at the end of the film (im guessing it was his inauguration speech for his second term), followed by the scene that ends with Lincoln leaving The White House, heading to Ford Theater. END. It is unnecessary to show his death or him dying because 99.9% of the audience is going to know that Lincoln was shot by Confederate douchebag John Wilkes Booth at Ford Theater. The shot that closes that scene is one of those perfect movie ending shots. The conflict has been defeated, Lincoln is still cracking jokes, and his reputation is set. Nothing after this scene is useful. I dont need to see his son crying, I can reasonable guess that anybody who knew Lincoln during his life, and alot of people who didnt, were pretty devastated by his death. Just end the film when the story is over, and because this wasnt a story of Lincoln's life, his death is unnecessary.

My other problem with this film is the storyline with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. None of the scenes added anything to the character of Lincoln. I could have gotten over it if they story had done something important with the character, but his only contribution is joining the army, which doesnt go anywhere, other than to start a truly amazing fight between the Lincolns. The story already had a father-son relationship between Abe and his youngest, it did not need another one put on top. All of those scenes felt like they were added after the fact. I could also see them ending up on the cutting room floor, only to be reinstated because of the rise of Mr. Gordon-Levitt's stock.

This leads me to my final point. The cast of this movie is amazing. It is soo deep, that I could drown in a pool made up of the discarded coffee thrown away by all the actors i recognize. I will now just name everyone in this film (by actual name, or character i know them as): Daniel Day-Lewis, Sally Field, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, David Strathairn, D-Day, Tommy Lee Jones, Gale Boetticher, Boyd Crowder, Arnold Rothstein, James Spader, Tim Blake Nelson, The Hardware Jew, Ann from soon to be cancelled show Go On, Jackie Earle Haley, Lane Pryce, The Pin, Andrew from Chronicle, and sociopath/heartthrob Adam from Girls. Most of these people have anywhere from 1-5 lines. It is insane to think of how many people this movie attracted. And they all give great performances with what little they are given, while wearing some amazing facial hair wigs.

But this whole movie gets back to Daniel Day-Lewis. He is one of the finest actors of all time and gives a worthy performance. He brings Lincoln to live like no book could. His love for his wife, his intelligence, and most shockingly, his sense of humor. Working in history, I have come across alot of people who said that Lincoln had a great scene of humor. But it is hard to imagine a man of that stature saying something funny. But that all goes away in the first scene where Lincoln tells a joke about his barbers being unable to cut his hair. "My last barber hanged himself. And the one before that. Left me his scissors in his will." Lincoln is a man who got a great thing done in this movie, but he also knows when it is time to crack a few jokes about problematic white people's hair.

Cloverfield

Cloverfield is the best monster movie I have ever seen. However, it has some flaws. Im willing to overlook alot of things for this movie. For instance, how does Rob get cellphone reception in the subway tunnel? How does Beth (and Rob and Hud, for that matter) survive a helicopter crash after being empailed and left bleeding for hours? How does the glass on the camera not crack during any of the crazy shit Hud puts it through? I willing to overlook all of these things, but I am not willing to overlook the fact that when they turn off the camera occasionally, the tape continues and does not tape over Beth and Rob's Coney Island trip. That shit is too much. I said my beef, now lets move on.

Cloverfield had the odds stacked against it. It has the problem of introducing the viewer to a bunch of charactors right off the bat. Once the shit hits the fan, there is no more time for exposition. By the time the monster attacks, in order for this movie to succeed, the viewer needs to understand the various relationships between the people. It needs to know that Hud has a major crush on Marlena while she couldnt give two shits about him. You need to know how much Rob loves Beth. But most of all, you need to see that look in Rob's eyes when his brother Jason tells him that Rob is not good enough for Beth. That moment is what makes this movie amazing. That moment when you realize that Rob will go through hell and back, which he eventually does, to save Beth. And it all happens during a pretty boring goodbye party filled with people who I do not care about.

People love to shit on found footage movies, and, for the most part, they are right. It is a cheap way to get scares by tunnel-focusing the viewer and only showing them bits and pieces of information. Before Cloverfield, the most note-worthy found footage movie was Blair Witch Project, which everyone thought was super scary when it came out, but in retrospect is really stupid. The camera shakes a bunch, that one chick tells us that she is really scared. And then it ends. Nothing happens! In Cloverfield, a ton of things happen. And JJ Abrams and Drew Gooden (producer/mastermind and screenwriter, respectively) know how to use the benefits of found footage to their advantage.

The key to a good monster movie is not showing the monster. Or, more accurately, showing the monster a piece at a time, and never too soon. Cloverfield uses the tunnel-vision of Hub (our trusty cameraman) to only show the viewer what they see, which is alot, but not alot at the same time. Mostly, Hud shows you the damage that the monster has done the weapons that the government is using to try and stop it.  Mostly, you see everyone freaking out and running. The viewer doesnt really get a good shot of the monster until the end, when it sniffs and then eats poor Hud.

The secret (and not so secret) heroes of this movie is the love story between Rob and Beth. Not only does it drive the story and keep out protagonists in the city, but it is the only romance that makes it to the end. It also leads to the greatest shot the movie has, which is the two of them hugging and kissing while waiting for the helicopter to come save them. The bright lights are shinning in the background, they made it to the helicopters before 6:00am, and it looks like they are going to get out alive. The wind is blowing, and they are alone in the shot, after going through hell to get there.

Unfortunately, the do not survive. Stuck in the blast zone, they each say their goodbyes to the camera as the sirens sound, letting them know that the bombs are coming. Right before it hits, you get a real quick "i love you" from each and thats all she wrote. The final shot of the movie takes us back a month to their Coney Island trip, whose origins started the movie. They embrace, tell the camera that they had a good day and say goodbye.

The Master

Before I get to my review, I want to talk about art for a second. Good art means something different to every single person. What I interpret and get from any piece of art is going to have similarities to what you get from that work of art, but they will not be the same. The variety of emotions and interpretations is what makes art special. I bring this up because The Master is a very complex movie. I may say things that you disagree with. And I just want you to know that we are both right, unless you are wrong.

ANYWAYS...who would like some free processing?

The Master is a masterpiece. P.T. Anderson is one of the premier filmmakers of the 20th century. In The Master, he tells the story of a man named Freddy. Freddy has some problems. For starters, he has PTSD from killing Japs in WWII. For another, he is slowly poisoning himself by creating drinks that mix typically booze, with strange chemicals. Early in the film, one of his brews causes the death to a friend of his because, according to Freddy, he didnt drink it smart.

Freddy meets Lancaster Dodd, a leader of a cult-like religion called The Cause. Lancaster enjoys Freddy's strange brews and his childlike sense of humor. He takes Freddy under his wing and tries to cure him of the various ailments that plague poor Freddy. Freddy is then put through the ringer with various tests and activities eventually cause him to leave The Cause. At the end of the film, he returns to Lancaster, but only to tell him that he is out. When the film ends, Freddy hasnt changed at all, he now incorporates the Causes language during his carnal activities.

What makes this movie truly great is that Freddy is called and treated as a dog. For all practical purposes, he is a dog, driven by base desires. He drinks heavily, both normal alcohol and anything he can find in the medicine cabinet or under the sink. He tries to have sex with almost every women he meets. And he picks fights with anyone who upsets him, and sometimes people who do nothing (for those Deadwood fans, I was shocked Dan didnt kick the shit out of him).

Lancaster is, essentially, trying to train poor Freddy. In a truly incredible montage, Lancaster (along with his family) try to break Freddy of all his bad habits. And while Freddy does his best to please his master, he is unable to continue his success when he does not have a master. Lancaster is all the sizzle, but none of the steak. Like one of Freddy's victims says at the end about Book 2, it could have been boiled down to a 3 page pamphlet and given to people on the subway. For all the talk, he does not accomplish anything with his most treasured student. When the movie ends, Lancaster is continuing to do what he does, now in England, and what he will keep doing for a billion years. Freddy is doing the same thing he did at the start of the film, drinking and having sex with strange women. Only this time, he asks the girl to say her name...then again...then again...then to put it back in, because it fell out.

Side note. Anderson knows how to make a movie beautiful. The cinematography is tremendous. The various shots of water behind a ship, to the first time Freddy is "processed", to the time they all go out and play "drive fast into the distance for a while". Anderson's movies are works of art in a purely visual sense. He also has the benefit of working with some of the finest actors of this day and age. Mr. Phoenix and Mr. Hoffman both give tremendous performances and Ms. Adams and Mr. Plemons (LANDRY!!!) help carry some of the scenes without Lancaster. If it wasnt for the movie that the other hollywood Anderson directed this year, The Master would be the best movie of the year, by far.

Speed Racer

I decided to start with with film Speed Racer for a few reasons. For starters, outside of a few friends with likeminded opinions, I have not heard of any one else who likes this movie. The movie has a reputation of being a children's movie, and a bad one at that. However, I love this movie.

When the Wachowski siblings made Speed Racer, their reputation was not very solid. They had created one of the greatest science-fiction movies of all time, The Matrix, and then continued to destroy any good will they gained by releasing two horrendous sequels. They followed this up by writing and producing a mediocre film adaptation of V for Vendetta, the much-loved comic book written by the genius/crazy person Alan Moore.

Speed Racer is a slight return to normalcy for the siblings. The Matrix was not your typical science-fiction movies. It was heavily inspired by post-modern writers like Michel Foucault and Jacque Derrida. The movie was attempting to explain some of the notions developed by these rights, such as simulations and social constructs. I do not want to get into this much more, because it is highly theoretical and, from my experience, pisses people off.

To get back to the point, Speed Racer is not your typical children's movie. Yes, it is based on the much loved, Saturday morning cartoon. Yes, it features a pet monkey that throws his own shit at the bad guy. Yes, there are mountains and mountains of candy. But, more than anything, Speed Racer is about color. Soo much fucking color.

The entire movie was shot in front of a green screen, and the Wachowskis do not do anything to hide this fact. They use the freedom to do things that are slightly disorienting, but certainly original. I cannot think of any director since Godard went crazy to be this obsessed with color. The brightness, crispness, and overpowering quality to the colors of this film are certainly jarring. But, it is also refreshing to see a filmmaker (or team of filmmakers) experiment with what types emotions they can draw out with this use of color.

The film is most memorable for the three different races. I have no idea about how true this is, but it seems to me that it must have taken weeks to choreography these races. The turns, jumps, spins, crashes all blend together to give off the impression not of a typical race (even though there are alot of explosions), but of a ballet. I can think of one scene in particular (a section of the second race that takes place inside a cave of ice) where the colors/light reflect of anything and everything and create a piece of art that is only slightly worse than a Pollack. The viewer is both scared and excited, even if the outcome is completely known to the viewer. Art at its best.

Finally, I want to talk about the most jarring aspect of this film, and it has nothing to do with color. The Wachowskis fell in love with swipe cuts. A numerous times in the film, a talking head is swiped across the screen, changing the shot from one to another. This is hard to explain, and I recommend watching the first race of the movie again to remember how often this technique is used to perfection. By the end of the final race, the directors are cutting every second of two, in such a chaotic manor that the viewer, naturally, feels the excitement of the race.

Overall, Speed Racer is an art house film dressed up like a children's movie. Im sure that some children will love it for its silly humor and general joyousness. However, the true fans will not be children, but will be film-buffs. The end of the final race says it all. As Speed is finishing off the last of his opponents and crosses the finish line by jumping through an explosion, the background and the car disappear. The screen is  not only filled with a rotating red and white checkerboard, as if you say to the audience, "you came for the race, but you leave with the color explosion."

PS. The cast is unreal. Emile Hirsch, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, Matthew Fox,  Richard Roundtree, and Christina Ricci (who is playing 10 years younger).