Lincoln

First of all, I want to apologies for being super late with this post. I could give you a few reasons, but Im not going to.

ANYWAYS

Lincoln has alot of things going for it. For starters, it was directed by American treasure Stevie Spielberg. Second of all, the main character is Honest Abe Lincoln, whom many consider to be one of the best three American Presidents (along with FDR and Washington). Third, the main actor is Daniel Day-Lewis, one of the best working actors. And finally, it is about the end of slavery, which most normal people agree was a pretty amazing thing (ending slavery that is, not slavery itself). It was going to be really tough to fuck this movie up, but that does not mean we shouldnt celebrate it for not sucking.

Lincoln tells the story of how President Lincoln gave a bunch of speeches to various people that would eventually pass the 13th Amendment. And one of the great joys of this movie is watching DDL chew scenery. His stories are soo long and common that at one point he jokes that he would write shorter ones, but he is too lazy to stop once he has started. There is also a very funny moment when Lincoln starts to tell a story (a particularly funny one about a well placed portrait of General George Washington), and some Union General who is fed up with Lincoln's stories gets up and leave, muttering under his breath that he doesnt have time to listen to this shit right now. If you do not like watching people in period outfits give long monologues that meander around the point, you will not like this movie. That is the movie. Sometimes its DDL, sometimes its Sally Field (tremendously playing the crazy Mrs. Lincoln), sometimes its Tommy Lee Jones (playing Thaddeus Stevens in a terrible wig). The rest of the movie is connective tissue, most of which is very enjoyable to watch. James Spader, Tim Blake Nelson, and John Hawkes play a good trio of lobbyists working for Sec. of State Seward, who is working for Mr. Lincoln, of course. The three of them do whatever they can, in a great montage of bribery and corruption, to get the necessary votes to pass the amendment before the Civil War ends.

The conflict of the movie is against time. Lincoln correctly understands that once the Union is unified (WORDPLAY), a majority of the people of the country will still hate black people and refuse to support the amendment. Lincoln, playing the role of master politician, puts Southern leaders in Virginia for a stay while waiting for the amendment to pass, in order to be able to say that no Southern leaders are in Washington working out peace terms. The Amendment was ratified (the yeays have it!) and the movie ends. Except it doesnt, which brings me to my first beef.

This is a movie that has an introduction and an epilogue. The introduction is a very nice scene that revolves around that one kid from Chronicle and Lukas Haas reciting the Gettysburg Address to the President. The epilogue is less pointed and most revolves around everyone being super sad that Lincoln is dead. I have no problem giving the movie bookends, because this is only a small part of the larger story that is Lincoln's life. But the pacing of the end, as well as a perfectly shot false ending, makes the 2.5 hour movie feel like it is dragging for the first time. In my humble opinion, after Lincoln verbally abuses Jackie Earle Haley, the movie should cut to the speech that Lincoln delivers at the end of the film (im guessing it was his inauguration speech for his second term), followed by the scene that ends with Lincoln leaving The White House, heading to Ford Theater. END. It is unnecessary to show his death or him dying because 99.9% of the audience is going to know that Lincoln was shot by Confederate douchebag John Wilkes Booth at Ford Theater. The shot that closes that scene is one of those perfect movie ending shots. The conflict has been defeated, Lincoln is still cracking jokes, and his reputation is set. Nothing after this scene is useful. I dont need to see his son crying, I can reasonable guess that anybody who knew Lincoln during his life, and alot of people who didnt, were pretty devastated by his death. Just end the film when the story is over, and because this wasnt a story of Lincoln's life, his death is unnecessary.

My other problem with this film is the storyline with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. None of the scenes added anything to the character of Lincoln. I could have gotten over it if they story had done something important with the character, but his only contribution is joining the army, which doesnt go anywhere, other than to start a truly amazing fight between the Lincolns. The story already had a father-son relationship between Abe and his youngest, it did not need another one put on top. All of those scenes felt like they were added after the fact. I could also see them ending up on the cutting room floor, only to be reinstated because of the rise of Mr. Gordon-Levitt's stock.

This leads me to my final point. The cast of this movie is amazing. It is soo deep, that I could drown in a pool made up of the discarded coffee thrown away by all the actors i recognize. I will now just name everyone in this film (by actual name, or character i know them as): Daniel Day-Lewis, Sally Field, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, David Strathairn, D-Day, Tommy Lee Jones, Gale Boetticher, Boyd Crowder, Arnold Rothstein, James Spader, Tim Blake Nelson, The Hardware Jew, Ann from soon to be cancelled show Go On, Jackie Earle Haley, Lane Pryce, The Pin, Andrew from Chronicle, and sociopath/heartthrob Adam from Girls. Most of these people have anywhere from 1-5 lines. It is insane to think of how many people this movie attracted. And they all give great performances with what little they are given, while wearing some amazing facial hair wigs.

But this whole movie gets back to Daniel Day-Lewis. He is one of the finest actors of all time and gives a worthy performance. He brings Lincoln to live like no book could. His love for his wife, his intelligence, and most shockingly, his sense of humor. Working in history, I have come across alot of people who said that Lincoln had a great scene of humor. But it is hard to imagine a man of that stature saying something funny. But that all goes away in the first scene where Lincoln tells a joke about his barbers being unable to cut his hair. "My last barber hanged himself. And the one before that. Left me his scissors in his will." Lincoln is a man who got a great thing done in this movie, but he also knows when it is time to crack a few jokes about problematic white people's hair.